Strengthened by Grace

God's hands are holding me up. Two weeks ago today, we started potty training Maddie. Knowing full well what this endeavor would be like (having done it three times before), I confess I put it off until she was good and ready. Not that I would be ready. Who is ever ready to spend hour upon hour in the bathroom, being a cheerleader for such things? While the freedom from diapers is a good incentive, it comes at a high price of being captive to the four small walls of the bathroom and the mercy of a toddler's timetable to go. Sometimes it means reading a large stack of books for the better part of an hour at a time. We got the house well stocked with necessary supplies -- cloth training pants (with cute butterflies and flowers), potty books, a DVD from the library (you'd be surprised how catchy the songs can be about such a topic), a sticker book, and two bags of m&m's (one bag for Maddie for her successes, and one bag of dark chocolate for me, courtesy of my husband) -- and strive each day toward the goal. Where is God in the midst of my weariness? In seeing the graces of learning and trying, the progress even if far from perfect, and the surety that this too shall pass -- in more ways than one. (Sorry, couldn't resist...you get a strange humor in potty world.)

Shortly after potty training began, Noah had a repeat episode of severe dizziness followed by vomiting. It had happened for a couple of days in August, and then again last week. I'm not sure which is worse -- seeing your son in utter fear, anxiety, and unable to stand up without holding onto the wall, or not knowing what is causing it or how to help. We took him to the doctor, which led to bloodwork, a CT scan, and an upcoming ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) appointment at Children's Hospital in November. Where is God in the midst of such uncertainty? Prayers for peace in the midst of testing were clearly answered. Noah was brave, and even more impressively, so was I. God undergirded me to be calm and strong for Noah, when my human weakness would have fallen apart.

We dropped the van off at the dealer after the CT scan. Like a strange mirror to Noah's experiences, it too needed diagnostic testing. They kept it for a day and of course found nothing wrong with it. The following day, we got a call asking us to come in to replace some electrical systems that might have caused the problem. So back to the dealer, they kept the van for another day, and in working to fix one thing, they found there were two more things needing care. Where is God in the midst of unexpected bills? The provision of a warranty for the bulk of the cost, the dear friends that helped when we were stranded, and the prevention of an accident when we didn't know our brakes had failed.

Our week went on like this...Samuel going to the eye doctor and needing glasses, the dryer breaking for the third time in just a few short months, and I could add more. I began to wonder what would be next, what physical or financial hardship would be the one that takes us too far. Things felt so far out of my control, as one thing happened right after the next.

Somewhere in the middle of it, God grabbed my attention. He turned my focus from what was happening to how He was in it. To see the blessings hidden in those hard moments -- His presence, His grace, His hand holding me up. Yes, things felt beyond my control, but He brought me back to realizing they are all fully in His. Not a single thing is beyond His ability to intervene with His grace.

Hebrews 13:9 says, "It is well for the heart to be strengthened by grace." My perspective changed when I looked for His blessing instead of focusing on the things that overwhelmed me. His grace is enough for me, but I have to appropriate His gift of grace and receive it. He strengthens my heart and holds me in His hand. "From His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. " John 1:16