The Long Haul

I'm not looking for theological debate. Isn't it something that God took in essence a week to create the world, but He takes a lifetime to continually unfold and develop us? Our bodies take nine months to form but a lifetime to grow into the character God made us to be.

I'm sure if I took a poll, nearly 100% of all people would say they have had some season in their life when they were tired of the wait. Done. Spent. Ready to toss in the towel. It could be something superficial and trite like waiting in traffic, or it could be tremendously profound like waiting for the fulfillment of God's promise over your life. That's where my beloved husband and I are right now -- individually and as a couple. We aren't waiting for eternal promises that God fulfills somewhere in the heavenlies. We are waiting on things that He has affirmed to us countless times over, a word He has spoken over our lives, and we believe them to be true. But just like Abraham and Sarah getting old and waiting for the promised Isaac...twenty-five years in the wait...our wait has felt unbearably long too.

This classroom is very familiar to us. We have had to wait many times before, and each time I am restless. Maybe each time I build up a little more endurance than the time before it, but it is never easy to wait. In fact, I've blogged about it before (entitled "Waiting" -- November archive) and even now, six months later, I am still being stretched by it...further than I was the last time, further than I thought I could ever go.

God has been refining my view of the wait as I grapple with understanding His timing. Heaven knows, I've given Him grief over my impatience with time. The insights He has given me in the past few weeks, though, bring some healing to that. Here is what He has been stirring in me: God's unfolding over time is very intentional, purposeful and rich. It's not a superficial, surface type of being; it is what is most meaningful and beneficial -- willing to go the long haul -- the greater commitment, the utmost quality of results. To me, that is incredibly profound. There is value and worth in that. God works over time because He doesn't want junk. There is something specific He has set out to accomplish in us that can only happen in the wait. There are details that can only be orchestrated with precision -- attention -- and care -- if we wait and let God unfold them over time.

This has been true for me in my counseling experience. I started this journey of healing in January. I wanted to push so hard for growth, insight, and healing -- as if I could accomplish more if I just pushed myself harder to get there. Not so. In fact, I probably could have drown myself in the process and made it unbearable to continue. Instead, it has been a journey and unfolding and discovery over time. Things that started off hazy and uncertain are becoming more clear as I wrestle through them through time. There is a depth in the mystery of it, not just being handed something instantaneously. I'm learning that a lot of ground work had to be established before I could even dive in and really make progress. I had to take the time to get my footing and have a safety and trust so that I could really benefit and be healed. It has been hard because it takes time, but as I've learned to rest in it, I've greatly reaped the benefit of what God has prepared in the process. I can see how He has been laying a foundation and making preparations in me, so that I would be ready for the next step. Not wrecklessly, carelessly, or haphazardly -- but with great attention and care because it was the best thing for me.

The next time we are looking for the short cut, the easy way out, the quick fix, or the answer we've been waiting for...perhaps we are wise to consider what kind of quality we are looking for. God's way is in fact the best way, even though it is often the hardest. He cares too deeply, loves us too much, and is committed to hold onto us for the long haul to give us any less than His very best. He is willing to endure the agony, the anguish, the pain, because He knows the value and the worth of the end result.

When we are tempted to believe He has forgotten, let it be said of Him that ours is a God who will never let go. He is committed for the long haul. He will see you through to the end of your wait.