Hope Springs Eternal

I'm not a farm girl. It sounds like it could be a fun thing maybe, but not on a day like today. We are slowly melting from our 15 inches of snow. In its place, there are lots of ice chunks and puddles scattered throughout the yard. All of this melting leaves us with something awful in our backyard. I call it poop soup.

I'm not a dog lover by nature. I'm not one of those who thinks every dog is cute or can't wait to get my hands on every dog I see. I love Lily, our soon to be four year old Golden Retriever. She has brought life and joy and love in sweet ways. But truth be told, I'm not sure that I love her this much! She has the ever present fur balls that she sheds all over the house. And when the weather is just so, outside she leaves us with poop soup.

If you dare to even go there, it is a place of slushy, melting, disgusting mud piles. Except it isn't mud. It's poop. Normally we scoop poop more frequently, but since the big blizzard, we don't go digging in snow -- we wait until the snow melts enough to find it. And find it I did. I couldn't think to count how many piles it was because all I could think was "do I love my dog this much???" I can tell you the bag was so heavy that it severely weighed down my Walmart bag and I was just thankful it didn't break it.

As I scooped outside in what smelled like a cow pasture, I was drawn to the lessons in it. If you can't enjoy the experience, at least maybe you can learn something from it. Like "you should really leave this one for your husband to do..." and "why oh why does a sweet fluffy dog need to do this in my backyard?"

Then the birds started singing. One of the first times I've heard them this year. I was drawn to the hope that spring is coming. I saw that poop as my sin that I have no power to clean up. Some of it picks up easily, and some just makes an awful mess. Without the work of God in my life, I'd be that mess. And I guess the thing that grabbed me was that even though I wasn't sure if I loved Lily enough for this, God does love me enough. Even though I can't completely clean up this yuck, God can. He can handle life's messes. Maybe He even uses that poop to fertilize our deeper growth. Our God redeems, that's for sure. He finds a way to use everything for good.

Hope does spring eternal. No matter how bad our mess is, God is willing and able to clean us up. He makes us new. The Living Water washes us like the spring rains come and water the earth. Lord, come do a work that only You can do.

You're Mine!!!

Two years ago today, Madison Rose AiJiao Richards became officially ours!! We saw her across a crowded room, wide-eyed and wondering about all that was happening around her. As we drew in close, we could hardly believe how much our hearts swelled for this little girl!! We had prayed so long -- first to see if God had called us to adoption, then praying He would hand-pick our little girl to be a part of our family, then living out the journey of faith where God Himself would bring our little girl home. It was nothing short of a huge and miraculous God-show!!!

And then suddenly, all of our waiting had come to an end. We were standing face-to-face with this miraculous provision, this answer to prayer, this tender heart that was now OUR DAUGHTER!!! There just aren't words, perhaps only tears, that can tell you how this transformation takes place. This orphan, one in a literal million of Chinese babies each year, was no longer abandoned or alone. She was family!!! And here we were, looking into the face of the one we had prayed for, holding her tight to our hearts and hugging "the real thing"!

In the book of Song of Solomon, we are told "I am my love's, my beloved is mine". The NJB says "I belong to my love, and my love to me" (Song of Solomon 6:3). For those who cry out to be known, to be loved, to be valued, and to belong -- this is our song! Jesus claims you and me as His own!! With all intimacy and affection, He holds us close and looks into our eyes, and says, "You're Mine!!!" Our hearts long for connection and relationship. I pray that we would know and embrace the One who calls us by name to tell us we belong to Him!

Sweet Maddie, Happy Gotcha Day!!!! We are so blessed to say you are ours! We are head over heels in love with you! You are an absolute gift to our family, and we are so grateful that Jesus brought you home to us!!! We love you!!!

Love for a Nation

We decided when Madison became a part of our family that she was becoming part American and we were becoming part Chinese. Even in her tender toddler voice she will tell you, "I'm Maddie! I'm Chinese!" Or sometimes she will say a mouthful and add, "I'm Chinese American!" There is a blending of hearts and cultures as we share our lives as one. We want to keep those precious roots warm and let her always feel connected to her unique story.

The girls went to church today in their Chinese dresses. Maddie jumped up and down, so excited to wear her new pink dress that I brought home from China last summer. She told everyone who greeted her, "Happy Chinese New Year!!!" This is the most important holiday for the Chinese people. That being said, it is important to us as well.

I greeted our friend Chien with "Happy Chinese New Year" at church, and her face warmed as she smiled. "You are the first person to tell me that today!" It was the most precious thing when she saw Maddie and together they counted to ten in Chinese and sang a children's Chinese song! It was a highlight of my day, and then sharing a meal with friends at the China Garden buffet.

I find myself missing China today. I never dreamed that I would have gone to China three times in the span of a year and a half, but I feel so incredibly blessed to have done so. It was a gift. In those trips, God grew my heart for the nation of China and their precious people. I want to go back and just hear their hearts. I want to listen, reach out, and care. My heart aches to think that I don't know when I will be returning. It feels too far away.

My heart breaks for the nation of China. They are the dearest people. Their hospitality is so warm and friendly. They care so deeply they will do anything for you. And yet, by and large, like our own nation, they are lost. They don't have the freedom of the gospel and the wealth of a relationship with Christ. There are many who do, and the numbers are growing. There is hope.

Primarily, much of the Chinese culture is based on a desire for good fortune and a happy life. Much of Chinese New Year centers on those themes. As I did a little research on some of their traditions, I believe God inspired some Christian connections for us to celebrate. We want Maddie to celebrate her Chinese heritage, but to embrace the best of it with the heart of God in mind.

The celebration of Chinese New Year continues on for fifteen days. The tradition starts with spring cleaning. They clean out their homes for a fresh start on a new year. Rather than talking about the good luck or keeping gods happy with them, we can talk about how Jesus cleans our hearts and gives us a fresh start every day. They decorate with live plants and flowers (a welcomed sight in mid-winter!), that can remind us of our new life in Christ. We are reborn in Him and He makes all things new.

A very important part of Chinese New Year is the time to focus on being with family. It is a time of reunion and thanksgiving. For as busy as life can be, how great to have a couple of weeks where we focus on more time together as a family. They remember past generations and are thankful for their heritage. They write happy wishes for each other on red paper. We could lift up prayers for one another, words of love and encouragement to each family member, and write them on red paper.

Money is given in red envelopes, called Lai-see, much in the spirit of Christmas gifts. We can teach our children about sharing money to help orphans through organizations like Shaohannah's Hope, or give money to help those in the process of adoption. We can share our financial blessings to benefit orphans.

The celebration ends after two weeks with a lantern festival. What a great time to light up our homes with candles and give praise to Jesus, our Light!

We keep the nation of China in our prayers throughout the year in our family devotions. Madison won't let us forget. She prays for Qiao and Amy, two Chinese friends, every single day. This is a great time of year for all of us, even if you don't have a Chinese family member, to remember the nation of China in our prayers. Last year we had enough yuan to share with the kids' Sunday School classes so that each child could take home a Chinese "dollar" to remember to pray for China.

God's Spirit is stirring there in powerful ways. Pray for the orphans to be brought home to families in the spirit of adoption. Pray for freedom for the Chinese to publicly believe God and know Truth. Pray for the missionaries in hiding. Pray to be made willing and open for opportunities to go on a mission trip to embrace a nation in your heart. In loving the nations, you will be loving the heart of God.

Snowbound

Excuse me, but does anyone know how to spell eye-yiyi??? (I need to know that one for the record.) For all those interested in stats, Emma has had literally 100 doses of medicine (4 different kinds, not counting any vitamins). She was homebound from February 1 through February 12. During that time, I was primarily homebound with her. I made it to church (Todd and I tag-teamed it), and this past Saturday I did some grocery shopping.

To make life all the more interesting, the boys were home on Monday and Tuesday last week because school was cancelled for frigid temperatures. Wednesday through Friday were two hour delays. We've pretty much forgotten how to get ready in the morning for the usual routine. Our children have turned into monkeys and our home has turned into a zoo.

Add to the fun a really HUGE wigwam that Noah made for his class as they study Native Americans. It became a family event with each person adding their own contribution and creativity. Todd and Noah soaked branches in water and tied them up in strings. Noah cut paper bags to look like animal skin and glued them to the magna-structure they created. Samuel, Noah and I went to our friend's farm to dig out stones for a firepit with tissue paper flames. Samuel decided there needed to be some meat hanging over the fire, so he created a stand on both sides and made a juicy piece of "meat" cooking on top. Bow and arrow, canoe and pond, pile of wood for the fire....and the scene took the entire dining room table. Yesterday we ventured out for Emma's first day out of the house and took the mammoth thing to school.

Todd left for a business trip yesterday before dawn. Since then, we've had maybe 18 hours of snow. That's just a guess because I really haven't spent the entire time watching out the windows. I did manage to take note of several neighbors who tried to battle the storm with their snowblowers and shovels. I thought the efforts would be futile with all the wind and continual accumulation. Maybe tomorrow.

So here we are, the wind howling and rattling the windows, snowbound. If I hadn't been housebound for most of the month of February, I might enjoy it a little more. For now, though, I'm doing my best to not lose sanity. (Todd would be quick to tell you that I lost that long ago.) You can only take so much of wired kids, messy rooms, potty accidents, and little connection with the outside world.

Samuel led the kids in devotions tonight. At the end Noah said in all seriousness, "Samuel, why don't you go ahead and lead us in prayer too." It kind of made me chuckle because it sounded so grown up. The prayer was humbling to say the least. He prayed for each person and the things they are going through...Emma and her healing from tonsils, Maddie's potty power, Noah's wigwam grade, his own test coming up this week (should they ever return to school, heaven help them), Daddy in Florida, and Mommy for "whatever she was working on the computer". I was touched that he cared for each person, but the thing that got me was the ending. "Jesus, please help the ones that no one prays for. Help the ones who have no food in their stomachs tonight, no clothes and no house to keep them warm, and the ones who are caught in the storm. Amen."

Perspective. Conviction. Out of the mouths of babes...

Thus Far

I have counted 75 times that I have given Emma medicine this week. It's a lot to keep track of, but the paper on the frig works just fine. I realized I can handle all the bowls and spoons we've gone through of sherbet or chicken noodle soup. We've gone through boxes of popsicles and bottles of tylenol and gatorade. I've been homebound and skipped the makeup and contacts. We can do this and get through it.

The last two nights, however, have gripped my heart. The recovery has gone so smoothly. Emma hasn't complained about medicine (not too much, anyway) or being woken in the night, or taking sips of gatorade. The past two nights got the best of her though. The steroids have worn off that were intended to jump start her recovery. She is tired of feeling bad. The pain has increased, and she just sobbed and shook in fear. After calming her and going back to sleep, she woke up again crying in pain, even before the last dose had worn off and before she was eligible for more.

Servanthood is one thing, but watching your child suffer is another. I don't mind going up and down the stairs in the middle of the night for a popsicle so that she can swallow. But watching her hurting and crying when she wants to be sleeping? I want to take her pain for her, and let her rest.

I've taken the role of cheerleader. "Emma, you've come so far!! You can do this!! Jesus is healing you and taking care of you. Every day you are closer to feeling great." But I'm not sure if I'm more telling her or myself. I pour on words of love and affirmation and encouragement, stroke her cheek or her hair or rub her back. I think somehow it helps us both feel a little better.

As we do in our household, it's time for a celebration. This marks the one week mark on her surgery. It wasn't hard to think of something uplifting to do. How about homemade chocolate chip cookies to warm our heart and cheer our spirit!

When something feels long, and believe me we have had those times in our journey even as we speak, I like to remember what Samuel did in 1 Samuel 7:12. "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us." It was time to build an altar of praise, remembering "thus far". No matter how long this takes or what lies ahead of us, the LORD has helped us. He will continue to carry us through.

Surgery

Love is a verb. Especially this week, we are seeing this one lived out in our home. We are both the givers and the receivers of love in tangible ways.

Emma had surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. Todd, Emma, and I arrived at Children's Hospital by 7 am. to get her admitted. Todd is definitely the morning person in our house. When we stepped up to the desk, they had those beeper things that light up like they have at restaurants. My charming husband said, "Table for three please." It warmed my heart and I was so glad to have him there with us. It makes such a difference to me when he is close by.

The staff at the hospital took great care of Emma. They gave her a new Care Bear coloring book and crayons when she arrived. How bad could this be if they are willing to give such gifts? There were so many that came in with their specific thing to do -- I wouldn't be surprised if there were a dozen or more caring for her. Each one was intentionally being tender with her.

I think when we look for touches of God's grace in our day, we find Him. The man who came to draw blood was so joyful and kind. He saw Emma's name on the door and said, "Emma Grace! What a beautiful name! Do you have a sister named Amazing?" I don't know if she got his joke or not, but it was just kind of funny to me. His tray was covered in Veggie Tales and when he left, he gave Emma a whole stack of stickers (Dora, Barbie, Princesses, Scooby Doo, animals...).

This wing of the hospital for outpatient surgeries had a travel theme. There were maps and countries and cities everywhere. Guess which room God picked out for us? Pittsburgh!!! It was so fun to show Emma where Grandad used to work, the old Three Rivers Stadium, the Point, the Science Center. It was just fun to have that connection, and I couldn't help but think God gave us this reminder of His presence in the details.

Every step of the surgery process requires a lot of encouragement to our little patient. While she is very brave, she also doesn't hesitate to tell you she doesn't want to do something. Color in my new coloring book or sit and watch t.v.? No problem. Stick my finger or make me put on that hospital gown? No way!

There's something about seeing your little baby in a hospital bed and having so many staff working on her. You know in your head that this is a routine surgery and she will be fine. But you also know how hard it is for her to go through, how scared she is, the pain she will feel, and her mama can't help but be a bit weepy. "Hold onto me, mama....come with me, mama..." There's no other place I'd be...until I have to let go. Every time we heard wheels coming down the hallway, we looked up hoping to see her. When she finally came back to us, they told us how great she did. Then her tears came. I came close and wiped her tears, played with her hair and caressed her forehead. In that moment I would have done anything in the world to help her.

For all the busyness of life and caring for a full household, everything stops in my heart for my baby who needs me. She has my full attention. There is sudden simplicity in putting everything aside but the essentials. There is constant care in giving TLC, encouragement, hugs and snuggles, medicine, sherbet, and lots of fluids. Constantly checking what time it is, what medicine is needed, counting up to 13 times a day she was dosed with something. There is nothing I'd rather do than give Emma that constant care, and yet it also puts us in a place of exhaustion and need.

How grateful we are for the body of Christ, friends and family who have loved on us through phone calls, e-mails, dinners and most of all prayers. We have seen love lived out through the tangible things that have reminded us we aren't alone. God's love pours out through you all, and fills us up to pour love out on Emma.

Isn't that the beautiful way He made us to care for each other? It is an incredible responsibility we have to reach out, and it results in great joy.

God uses challenging places to teach us how to care for others in challenging places. If you've never been through it, you have no idea what a difference it makes to have someone be there. But once you have had to go through something --- not just surgery, but any hard season --- you can't help but care for someone else you see going through the same thing. Your heart immediately goes to them, and connects you to your own experience where you felt need. It is one of the amazing ways God redeems our hard places for the good of others.

God I praise You for bringing us through and for working in such beautiful ways.